Be Careful What You Ask For, You Will Get It!

"It's funny when things change so much. It's all state of mind."
-Eddie Vedder, on the song "In Hiding"

I am aware that this is quickly becoming a forum to update the various phases of my unemployment, but I am not planning on changing the name of my blog. That just happens to be my perspective right now. Plus, some of you may be interested in the latest in this ongoing saga.

Speaking of perspective, I think it's an important part of this phase of the story. A lot of people feel a lot of different ways about life. But I think by and large people try to do the best they can with what life deals them, and they hope that hard work and good choices will lead to a quality life.

I'm learning to disagree.

I don't find that life deals me anything at all. I deal life to myself. I've known this on a deep level, but it's almost like I forgot. And when inexplicable things happen, it's hard to remember. I've believed this for some time, but now I'm starting to practice it. The results so far are subtle, but no less stunning to me.

I know, why would people choose to have a car accident or get attacked, etc. The short answer is, I don't know. But choices have after-effects, and that's the best I can say for someone else's decision. For myself, when something difficult happens it is for a reason. I'm starting to see it clearly. There's a lesson in everything, so getting emotionally resistant is of no use. Looking for the message is all that matters.

What am I talking about? Why the philosophy all of a sudden? The job situation, of course.

And I should say before moving on that it seemed terrible the way the Tin Woodsman thing happened. But the truth is that I was ready to move on - very ready - and getting let go allowed me to do that, collect money through unemployment, and spend quality time with Oliver (including potty training!).

But I forgot that leaving was what I wanted, and got very down. Then I got better, little by little, until I saw a movie that reminded me what I knew in my soul. Then I started making conscious choices, from what I want specifically to what kinds of emotions I will allow to enter my being. As I've mentioned, the change in me has been transformative.

Which is a long way of introducing what happened the last couple of days. As I was about to leave Kat's house (after working on building a stone wall) on Tuesday, I received a call from a company I applied with called Spirit Leatherworks. Oliver was grouchy because I just woke him up, I had an armful of stuff, and the girl on the other end wanted to give me a phone interview. Major shift of focus, to say the least!

I ambled through, not really remembering anything about the job I had applied for. I was sure I'd get an interview though. Because it's what I asked for. Literally.

Forty-five minutes later, I was called back to schedule an interview for Thursday. See what happens when you ask?

So I went to the interview, and although I wasn't sure if I wanted the job at all I was nervous. Nervousness is not something I can stop with logic alone, apparently. Anyhow, the guy I was going to interview with (Rob) was really busy, so I interviewed with two people underneath him instead. It really wasn't necessary, and I realize they did this just to be polite, but we all played our parts and went through with it. Near the end, Rob came in and said he wanted to interview me the next day - Friday.

I went home thinking little of it, although I knew the way everything happened was unusual. I honestly didn't really care. I'm not looking for usual.

When I went in on Friday, I wasn't nervous and I had questions. My main concern was getting offered a job I didn't like and not having the wisdom to make a clear decision. This time Rob came out of his office promptly and took me to another building. Once the door opened to the other building, I was intrigued. There were belts hanging on all the walls, it smelled wonderfully of leather, and people were sitting at tables talking about what they liked and didn't like about a certain design.

Soon after the door closed to the room I'd interview in, my concern grew. Rob was a dynamic guy, much to my surprise, and I knew that if he wanted me to have the job telling him "no" was going to be difficult.

And then it happened. I started liking him. Why? He wanted to know about my last job and he wanted to know the truth. He was adamant about it. And so I told him, and it felt good, and he understood! Then he told me that my resume was good, but I could make it better. The honesty was such that I didn't hear criticism at all. I heard a reasonable human being.

He went on to tell me that there were 250 applicants, 9 resumes stood out, 1 failed the phone interview, and then 3 were chosen for real interviews. Of those three, one girl was perfect, one person needed to (in his opinion) finish school first, and the other person was me.

He said he wouldn't hire me for this job because it was beneath me. I was so relieved that I wasn't disappointed at all. He said I'd be going crazy within 3 months.

Then he said he wanted me to work there. Huh?

Here's the thing; they're a young company and growing like crazy, and this guy is wise enough to know that successful businesses employ good people. Who knew? And he could tell I was a good person (fooled him, eh?!).

We had a great talk. I know he is busy, but I could've talked to him for a long time. I was very energized. It was a confirmation of what I always knew: if I work hard and carry myself with integrity then things will work out. Plus I've started choosing - very consciously - to make money doing something that is fulfilling at a place that understands that I'm talented.

The end of the story is that I will work there. Rob is talking to the owner today ("We're talking about a lot of things, and 10 minutes or less will be about you. But we will talk about Matthew Trent"). He wants to find something for me to do, be it financial, management or otherwise. He just wants me because he can tell that I have a fire inside.

AND HE'S RIGHT!!!

My fire is burning hot, on logs of intention.